Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize