You're earring is so big in my mouth
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize