I think I can smell my own vagina right now
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
