She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
