It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
