I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize