Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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