its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
COCAINE IS GR8
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
