Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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