i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
