She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize