Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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