I don't think brook has ever known best
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Also, beer. Big fan.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Randomize