there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
