I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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