It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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