Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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