Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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