I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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