so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Randomize
