They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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