i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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