There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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