haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
