Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
