Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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