I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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