i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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