Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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