like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
