What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
