they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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