just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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