problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
