Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
