last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
