it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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