i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
