The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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