She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
