I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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