how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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