Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
