as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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