the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
That's when you crack a 10am beer
there was a trapeze. enough said
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
