i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
