It's Friday. Sex?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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