she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
