im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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