Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
