please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
