I looked at my own cervix.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
