It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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