"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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