Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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