Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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