you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
