That's when you crack a 10am beer
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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