answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
