just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
