Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
