ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
